False was under privileged as a child. . . He grew up in the suburbs. Having no black playmates or even old heads on the corner to keep him real, he never learned to dance or play basketball. Nor did he ever develop a taste for grits or pigs feet. A reality that haunts him to this day. He did, however, learn the 13 approved variations of the word “n**ger”, including but not limited to: porch monkey, jigaboo, coon, burrhead, spearchucker, spook and jungle bunny. At the tender age of 30, false was cast out onto the mean suburban streets with nothing more than the clothes on his back, a baccalaureate degree from a podunk university, and a sizable savings account from mooching off his folks for years. Thus began his lifelong quest to find the enigmatic and elusive African American (Negras Fuktupis) that he had read about as a youth.

False did eventually make contact with these creatures. He even lived with them in the wild for a number of years. After learning their language and customs he was welcomed into their community. He gained honor and respect for speaking a truth so deep that it seemed false to the uninitiated and was eventually bestowed by them with the name “False One”.

Today False1 spends his time ranting about “the man” in a vainglorious attempt to overcome the physical and psychological wounds of his childhood. Don’t let his peccadillos fool you though. His truth is quite deep.

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